Nan Robertson, thank you

Nan Robertson died last week. Maybe I missed it, but I saw only a hint of the outpouring of tributes I expected, especially from women journalists.

She was one of the trailblazers, a Pulitzer Prize winner who was known as a generous mentor to countless women in journalism. Certainly she was an inspiration for many more.

Nan was 83 when she died and had made her career, mostly at The New York Times. She started there in 1955, in an era when “women’s news” was a beat. She wrote hundreds of articles on fashion, shopping, and decorating before moving, in 1963, to the paper’s Washington bureau. There her assignment, as she described it, was covering, “the first lady, her children, and their dogs.”

She wrote candidly about her own life, her struggles with alcoholism and depression and, most famously, her horrific experience with toxic shock syndrome, which ultimately led to the amputation of eight fingertips.

Her 1992 book, “The Girls in the Balcony” told the story of the federal class-action suit successfully brought against The New York Times by 550 women employees alleging discrimination in pay, assignments, and chance for advancement. The “balcony” in the book’s title was the less-than-second-class area at the National Press Club in Washington where women journalists could look down at the auditorium from which they were barred. Women were not allowed in the auditorium even on business until 1955 and were denied membership in the Press Club until 1971.

It is shocking to realize how relatively recent those days in the balcony were. But in 2009 around the world, in new media and old, women journalists are writing substantive news stories. And their voices are being clearly heard in the public discussion of how information is gathered and shared. Thank you, Nan.

You’ve Gotta Read This!

How do readers and books find each other? Here are all these new books coming out every day….old ones you never got the chance to read…eye-catching displays at the bookstore…reviews by reviewers you respect…reviews by people you’ve never heard of…..Decisions, decisions.

Here’s what I think it comes down to: no matter how many interesting reviews you read or how many ads you see, what most often gets a book into my hands is a real person telling me, “You’ve just got to read this.”

That’s exactly the premise behind the Flashlight Worthy book recommendations web site, which has as its mission recommendations of “books so good, they’ll keep you up past your bedtime.” The site’s creators are Peter Steinberg (who handles the books part) and Eric Mueller (the tech part) I love the name, with its image of when staying up to read a good book was a daring act. (Just one more chapter. Pleeeeze.)

Peter explains that he started Flashlight Worthy because finding quick, concise online book recommendations was hard. 

“Amazon reviews are massively long. Google is too robotic, and while I love book bloggers, it’s hard to find one who shares your reading tastes. And if you do, they usually don’t read much faster than you do so you don’t have a whole lot of choice in what they recommend.”

At Flashlight Worthy, readers can add their own “recommended” lists, that are categorized so that it’s easy to find just what you’re looking for, from “testing the waters of sci-fi” to “baseball by the numbers: the best books on baseball stats” to “great books for strong girls in 3rd, 4th, or 5th grade.”

Peter and Eric invite you to visit and add a list of your own. Oh, and one more thing: they have a little problem they’re looking for help with. Seems that the blog’s name tends to confuse Google into grouping them with suppliers of flashlights. So they’re hoping book-lovers will add the site to their own blogrolls to keep the recommendations coming.

Another group of book recommendations–these are for children’s books–comes from my friend Deborah Sloan at her site, The Picnic Basket. Her readers are teachers, librarians, and just plain lovers of children’s literature who post reviews of new books. When I read it, I always find myself making lists of books to give as gifts. One that’s on my list right now is “Buying, Training & Caring for Your Dinosaur” by Laura Rennert, which sounds like fun for my favorite young dinosaur-lovers.

Picnic Basket readers were probably among the first to know about “Charles and Emma: The Darwins’ Leap of Faith,” by Deborah Heiligman, a book that’s just been nominated for a National Book Award.

Deborah’s decision to set up a blog for book recommendations underscores my impression that our favorite book choices often come from other readers. Deborah quotes Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, saying, “Nothing influences a person more than a recommendation from a trusted friend.”

What books would you recommend?

Where the poem comes from: Robert VanderMolen

A few months ago Poetry Daily did me the favor of introducing me to the work of Robert VanderMolen. In case you have not seen his work, I am passing this gift along to you.

Bob lives and works in Grand Rapids, Michigan. He published his first collection when he was still an undergraduate at Michigan State University. His most recent collection, “Water,” published by Michigan State University Press, is reviewed in the current issue of Poetry.

The poem here, “A Mist,” appeared last winter in the Laurel Review.

A Mist

But my fever made me long
For New Jersey. I told my husband
I liked it here, but I didn’t want to die
In Michigan. Does that seem so odd?
You lie in bed wishing one of the dominoes
Had fallen in a different direction. You look at your body—
When you need affection life seems so meager

Thank you for meeting me here.
I know I’m not like I once was, but who is.
I favor men with some meat on them.
It’s pleasant to be warm like this.
I’m not accustomed to being carefree

The woods so dark in winter behind the house

There are times I feel like I’m looking in,
My face against the glass of the slider
Like a woodchuck’s, my skin all covered in bristly hair—
I’d prefer alternatives
A smallish career in the arts, let’s say. A plan of some sort.
Even the day the oven caught fire
Everyone seemed to have somewhere else to go…

I kept hacking away at this poem for (perhaps) 3 or 4 years–at one time it was two pages in length. Cutting out the fat, so to speak. Maybe 12 years ago I was having dinner at the house of the president of Grand Valley University, a woman at my table, an editor, was saying she loved Michigan but didn’t want to die here. Came from Brooklyn, NY. as a young woman, as I recall. Which was the original germ of the piece–on a piece of paper I found years later in my desk. Then some other snippets–someone telling me about looking in a window rather than out, unhappy. So the poem evolved into a small narrative–though it took a while

Confessions of a poetry contest judge

I’ve just picked the winner of a poetry book contest. My first time as a judge. And I am feeling good about my choices (yes, choices–there were also honorable mentions) but sad, to paraphrase Robert Frost, that I could not choose more and be one contest judge.

I felt honored to be asked to make this selection. And I felt the loss for the non-winners (let’s not call them losers). True, there were a few books that went pretty quickly into the “not” pile. But the largest stack was “maybe” and here lay the hopes and dreams I felt most keenly. It was hard work and I had more than a few nights of dreams prompted by anxiety about the task and the responsibility.

There’s the worry about objectivity, first of all. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s primarily in the eye of the beholder and the conscience of the judge. I knew many of the authors of these books, and I’m sure that’s often the case in contests. Since these entries were not anonymous, you could easily make a case for some kind of favoritism. But you’d be wrong. I tried scrupulously to make sure I was not giving unfair advantage to poets I knew. Or unfair disadvantage either, for that matter.

And of course, it’s all apples and oranges. The books were all over the place in terms of theme, style, and intent. But I tried to figure out how well each book succeeded in being itself. I wasn’t trying to equate, say a spiritual descendant of “The Bell Jar” with one more in the X. J. Kennedy mode. I was just trying to see which seemed to be most successfully the book it was meant to be.

What I came away with after I was finished was a sense of huge affection and respect for the poets who entered the contest. All poets are putting so much at risk when they put themselves on the page. I once heard a singer and songwriter say, “All my songs are autobiographical; they’re just not about me.” With a poet, it’s just the other way around. Whether or not they’re autobiographical, the writer always shows through.

One of riskiest maneuvers of all is entering a poetry contest because you have to declare to yourself and the person who will read your work that you care very much about this. And that you are trusting the reader to treat your work with respect. You do that with any reader, but with a contest judge the stakes are higher.

So here, finally, is my confession to you authors of the stack of books now just off to the side of my desk. My feelings for you are tender and grateful, respectful of your efforts, admiring of your resolve. You are the ones who follow your dreams, who honor your words, who notice the world and offer it for us to share. Thank you.

What do you think?

I couldn’t wait to see “Bright Star.” I expected to love it.  After all–Keats, Fanny Brawne, Jane Campion–all the right credentials are in place.  Adoring reviews from everyone from A.O. Scott and David Denby to all my poetry pals.  What’s not to like?

Much to my surprise, I didn’t like it.  I found it leaden and charmless, springing to life only in the brief moments when poetry was discussed, when the little sister spoke, and when the Hampstead Heathens sang in the drawing room. 

So I expressed my opinion. And then I was sorry I did.  So many friends liked it.  They were disappointed that I didn’t. I felt uneasy.  How could I not love such a beautiful, sensitive, artistic depiction of these beautiful, sensitive, artistic characters?  And then I felt a little guilty. Did  my friends think I was rejecting them or their taste?  They didn’t think I was rejecting Keats, did they?  I was simply expressing my thoughts, but my thoughts differed from theirs:  was that a problem?
 
Horse races aside, I guess it’s only human to want others to like what we like.  When we find a book that transports us, it feels like a gift to say to someone, “Here–you must read this.”  If they don’t like it, it does feel like rejection. Of our book, of our taste. Of our…well, not let’s not go there.  Or if it’s not rejection, then at least it’s the small loss of something we might have shared.  

It feels risky, too, when you’re the one voicing the opinion. 

“What did you think?”  

“Well, I thought…(oh, now I have to expose my thinking, my taste, discernment, intelligence, sense of humor–maybe I could just chicken out)  Um…I thought it was ok.”  

(But maybe they’d like to hear what I think, have a discussion, see my point, or try to convince me that I missed something in it.)  

“Well, actually, I didn’t like it so much.”  

“What? How could you not like it?”

Does that mean, how could you not like it when you’re a friend of mine?  Or when you’re an intelligent person?  Vanilla/chocolate, po-tay-to/po-tah-to.  Should we just keep our opinions to ourselves?

I wonder, when we ask, “what did you think,” what is it we really want to know? 

Where the poem comes from: Esther Schor

I first met Esther Schor when she was in Boston to talk about her biography of Emma Lazarus. The book was fascinating and I enjoyed meeting Esther and being introduced, as well, to her poetry collection, “The Hills of Holland.”

Here is a poem of hers that was published in Southwest Review. It is a poignant tribute to a friend. Interestingly, for me, the poem also has faint echoes of Emma Lazarus’s own most famous poem, “The New Colossus,” which is inscribed on the Statue of Liberty.

La Rambla

In memory of SB

Astride a globe atop a column
precisely where he disembarked
a precious haul of six Caribs

whose dark backs the sisters scrubbed
with boar bristles, whose pale souls
the bishop biscuited and claimed

for Christ, Columbus hails
the funicular, a spider’s belly
dangled over stevedores

glutting a ship’s dark hold
with cava. Whose idea, to string
this filament from Barceloneta

to Montjuic, to tip up to the sky
empty sarcophagi
incised with alephs and acanthus leaves,

reborn as rustic troughs?
Three hundred sixty-four days a year,
when we’re not here, parakeets

in cages held aloft by fishing line
taunt ocellated geckos,
vitreous, appalled,

behind each stacked terrarium
a muraled predator.
You’ve found another way

to be afar, after making the best
of a bad situation and getting on
in years, having kept all options

open, like the errant river
leaving a mudcaked rut of a bed
to Moors who called it ramla,

meaning bed of a seasonal river,
and never returned, bent
on a life undersea, shimmering,

inconsequent. On Catalunya’s flags,
Wilfred the Hairy’s four bloody fingers
tell his sons to avenge him, not telling them

how. You’ve found another way
to stay afloat, like a crescent of lime
in icy claret, laid with your girl

whose death no one thought to avenge,
a way not to hear the cloister geese
hymn the virgin martyr Santa Eulalia,

the white doves hatched from her throat
pecking the ears of men
who tore her flesh with iron hooks,

torched her cornsilk hair, a way to prove
nothing at all, so like these human statues
poised for coins–gilt and kohl-rimmed

Cleopatra, cycling fly, Che in olive drab,
his thrust fist unfatigued – still lives so like
your own, lived hand to mouth,

one flash at a time. Let me
carry you off, in pixels, in a tiny silver box.

I was traveling in Barcelona when I received the sad news that my friend, the poet Saul Bennett, had just died; he had had a heart attack while taking a glass of water from the tap. I had two immediate thoughts. First, leave it to Saul to die standing up. Second, I knew that Saul would be buried with his beloved daughter, Sara, who died just as suddenly–but of an aneurysm and in her early twenties. Until his mid-sixties, Saul had been a Madison Avenue advertising executive; witty, charismatic and generous, he had spent decades living in Great Neck and commuting to New York. Sara’s death changed all that. He abruptly retired, moved with his wife, Joan, to Woodstock, N.Y., and started to write poems. His first book,  ”New Fields and Other Stones,” both chronicled his grief and brought him back to life; through it, he was reborn as a poet. As I wandered down La Rambla, the pedestrian thoroughfare full of living statues and petshops, Saul wandered with me, along with his great loss–Sara–and his great choice–poetry. In the Cathedral, I was overwhelmed by a painting of the violent death of the virgin martyr Santa Eulalia; unlike the death of Wilfrid the Hairy, hers was, like Sara’s, unavenged, perhaps unavengeable. Or perhaps Saul knew better; as understated and muted as his grieving poems are, they take a swipe at death and leave a mark. The poem is an elegy for both Saul and Sara, and an homage to his Saul’s new life in art, “lived hand to mouth/one flash at a time.”

Peter Urban, photographer and friend

The photographs of me on my books, my web site, and accompanying my blog were taken by Peter Urban. He was a wonderful photographer and I was honored to consider him my friend. Peter died on Saturday and I will miss him.

Arlette Kafayas, whose gallery on Harrison Avenue in the South End represents Peter’s work, said this about him: “Peter’s enthusiasm for life, his love for his friends, his energy for his community are all part of what made him a remarkable human being. Knowing Peter was a gift–being with Peter energized your life.”

When Peter first learned he had pancreatic cancer, he told me he and Patrick Swayze had something in common. Now, sadly, they continue to. I will continue to picture his smile, to hear his laugh and to wish we could meet for another lunch.

“Starting here, what do you want to remember?”

I thought this morning of that opening line from William Stafford’s beautiful poem, “You Reading This, Be Ready.” I was listening to an NPR interview with two Microsoft researchers, one of them the first user of “MyLifeBits” which essentially makes a record of his entire life–where he goes, what he does, the phone conversations he has, the tv programs he watches, the meals he eats. Every moment of his life is being archived for…well, for whatever–anything from convenient recall to resource for distant posterity. At last, a way to remedy the famously flawed human memory: just record everything.

And I thought how making every minute of every day one to remember means that no minute and no day is memorable.

If, as we used to say in the ‘60s, “everything is beautiful” or, as Garrison Keillor (good health to him!) says now, “the children are all above average,” then what is good? What is excellent? What is memorable?

The Jewish prayers that accompany the beginning and ending of the sabbath speak of separation and distinction, one day marked as different from others. I thought of my recent wedding ceremony where, again, mention was made of separation–in this case two people set aside for each other. Who would we be without making some kind of order among those moments and people and things in our lives, without making distinctions, assigning values?

We can respect the minutes and the minute details that add up to our days and years. Time is, of course, our only real possession. And forgetting can be inconvenient or worse. But don’t some things deserve to be forgotten? Can we truly honor our time without making a distinction between the minutes of driving to the dentist or paying bills and those of seeing a friend or reading a book or one of the other small fortunate events that add up to what our lives are?

I think what we should be concentrating on is not recording but noticing. Every day things happen that would amaze us if we took the time to notice them. Not everything, but some things.

Every day people are in our lives in ways that sustain us. Not every person, but some people.

Starting here, what can you live with forgetting?

What do you want to notice?

What do you want to remember?

“Have you no sense of decency?”

A Congressman–an actual member of the U. S. House of Representatives, yelled out, “You lie” while the President was talking last night. And representatives and senators fluttered little pieces of papers saying who knows what, while another was busy texting. The words that came to my mind were what Joseph Welch, the army’s chief counsel asked Senator Joseph McCarthy in 1954, “Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?”

Where is Welch when we need him?

I’ve written before about the public conversation being hijacked by angry words. I wrote a post called “The words we choose to use” right after the murder of Dr. George Tiller. In it, I referred to a column by Ellen Goodman about what she called the myth of the lone shooter, saying that an environment of angry words creates the individuals who pull the trigger.

It’s understandable that Rush Limbaugh et al. will use the most inflammatory language possible: the more outrageous they can be the more they get paid. But what’s in it for the all the rest? (Not to mention what’s in it for an elected member of the federal government to disrespect the federal government? Reminds me of the Groucho Marx line about not wanting to join any club that would have someone like him as a member.) Can’t we just dial back the rhetoric and maybe find our way to a zero-tolerance policy for disrespect and defamation?

And just as I finished writing this post, I saw this, proof, perhaps, of an idea at the right time.

It’s a dessert, it’s a main course, it’s…bread pudding!

One of my favorite old-fashioned dessert recipes is nearly illegible, scrawled on a torn sheet of paper and labeled “Aunt Ethel’s.” I wrote it down fast during a phone conversation, intended to rewrite it later, and never did. It’s my friend Fran Godine’s family recipe for bread pudding, the basic vanilla-and raisins version.

I’ve been seeing bread pudding looking newly chic on restaurant menus lately in chocolate and toffee incarnations. And over the years I’ve cut out savory recipes with additions like mushrooms, fontina, and leeks that looked like good alternatives to quiches.

After a little experimenting I found that this is similar to an omelette in ease and in handiness for nights when you can’t think of what to make for dinner with the ingredients on hand. But it’s surprisingly light and almost souffle-like in its ability to look impressive. And it provides the perfect answer for what to do with the rest of a baguette after dinner for two.

So here’s the basic idea. I’ve found that the right ratio is 1 cup of milk (can be low fat) to 1 cup of staled bread cubes to 1 egg. For two people you’d probably want to use 3 cups to 3 cups to 3 eggs. And here’s what you do:
–scald the milk. That’s the term my mother used for heating it just until you get the film of protein deposits on the sides of the saucepan.
–beat in the eggs
–pour mixture over bread cubes. I like to mush it down a little to make sure all the bread is soaked thoroughly.
–add anything (see below)
–bake at 350 for about 45 minutes, or until a knife comes out clean. It will be puffed and much lighter than you’d expect.

For sweet bread puddings, you can add vanilla and raisins, chocolate….., maybe even the fruits you might bake into a pie–apples, pears, peaches.

But savory bread puddings are another whole level of flexibility. Mushroom, ham, grated cheese, green onions, tomato, broccoli–put in whatever you might use in a quiche.

And here’s what I love about the bread part. I like to use French bread, so whenever I have any left from a meal, I cut it into large cubes. I usually trim off the crust, but I’m not so sure that matters very much. Then I leave the cubes out to stale overnight and pop them into a bag in the freezer. What could be easier?

Let me know about your bread puddings!